Clean jokes for every age and occasion

Clean jokes for every age and occasion

MillionJokes collects family-friendly jokes into short, numbered lists you can read in a minute and retell all week: dad jokes, knock-knock jokes, puns, kids jokes and seasonal favorites. 283 joke lists, nothing you would not tell at the dinner table.

Best joke of the day

More best jokes in Best Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

More of our best jokes

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

    Because he was outstanding in his field.

  2. Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own?

    It’s two-tired!

  3. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

    A labracadabrador!

  4. What do you call a snake that loves building houses?

    A boa constructor.

  5. What do you call a car that can’t make up its mind?

    A Hyundai!

Short dad jokes to read right now

All dad jokes

32 Short Dad Jokes That Land in One Line

  1. Why did the old man fall down the well?

    He couldn’t see that well.

  2. How many storm troopers change a lightbulb?

    None, all on the dark side.

  3. What word can you make shorter by adding two letters?

    Short.

  4. How many apples grow on an apple tree?

    All of them.

  5. What did the alien say to the landscaper?

    Take me to your weeder.

  6. What’s a dog’s favorite super hero?

    Labra-Thor.

  7. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

    Bugs Bunny!

  8. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No eye deer.

Read all 32 jokes in 32 Short Dad Jokes That Land in One Line

10 of the Worst Dad Jokes (In the Best Way)

  1. Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle?

    You might denture car.

  2. What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator?

    Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.

  3. What family does the zebra belong to?

    Can’t say, none of our neighbors have a zebra.

  4. Where do basketball players get their uniforms?

    New Jersey.

  5. Why couldn’t the baby in basketball score?

    He kept dribbling.

  6. What has a spine but no bones?

    A book.

  7. Why was the Incredible Hulk so good at gardening?

    He had a green thumb.

  8. What kind of music does a boulder like?

    Rock n roll.

Read all 10 jokes in 10 of the Worst Dad Jokes (In the Best Way)

Featured joke lists

Dad Jokes

See all 48 Dad Jokes

Worst Dad Jokes (Part 3)

Buckle up for the worst dad jokes that will leave you cringing and laughing simultaneously - an epic collection of corny one-liners to make... Part 3.

Winter Dad Jokes (Part 4)

Dad joke season is upon us - bundle up for some winter dad jokes that'll have you laughing through the chills! Part 4.

Winter Dad Jokes (Part 2)

Dad joke season is upon us - bundle up for some winter dad jokes that'll have you laughing through the chills! Part 2.

Worst Dad Jokes (Part 2)

Buckle up for the worst dad jokes that will leave you cringing and laughing simultaneously - an epic collection of corny one-liners to make... Part 2.

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes (Part 2)

Celebrate Thanksgiving with my curated collection of hilarious thanksgiving dad jokes that will have the whole family laughing around the... Part 2.

Kids Jokes

See all 14 Kids Jokes

Knock-Knock Jokes

See all 2 Knock-Knock Jokes

Puns & Food Jokes

See all 11 Puns & Food Jokes

Steak Jokes

Craving some juicy humor? Sink your teeth into our mouthwatering collection of steak jokes that'll have you laughing rare to well-done. Get ready for some...

Banana Joke

Peel into a bunch of laughs with the best funny banana jokes of 2026! Guaranteed to make you go bananas with hilarity.

Animal Jokes

See all 9 Animal Jokes

Whale Jokes

I’ve always loved marine life, especially whales. They are huge, move beautifully, and act in interesting ways. Let’s celebrate these big sea creatures with...

Bee Joke

Get ready to buzz with laughter with the best bee joke collection that'll have you sharing the fun all year long!

Bear Jokes

Get ready to growl with laughter with the best bear jokes of 2026! Unbearably funny puns and grizzly good humor that'll have you paw-sitively howling.

Holiday & Seasonal Jokes

See all 38 Holiday & Seasonal Jokes

Train Jokes

All aboard the laughter express! I've compiled the funniest train jokes that'll have you rolling on the floor. From locomotive puns to caboose chuckles...

Wednesday Jokes

Midweek slump? Beat the blahs with my funniest Wednesday jokes! Hilarious puns and witty one-liners for an instant mood boost on hump day.

Classic & Timeless Jokes

See all 11 Classic & Timeless Jokes

Story Jokes

Discover the most hilarious story jokes that will have you in stitches! A treasure trove of laugh-out-loud narratives to brighten your day.

Short Jokes

Tickle your funny bone with my collection of short jokes – clever, witty one-liners guaranteed to bring a smile. These quick-fire laughs are perfect for...

Short Joke Of The Day

Need a quick laugh to brighten your day? Check out my short joke of the day - the best funny laughing jokes to enjoy in 2026.

Riddles And Jokes

Discover the wittiest riddles and funniest jokes that will have you laughing out loud! I've curated a hilarious collection of riddles and jokes that are sure...

Cross The Road Jokes

Discover the funniest cross the road jokes that will have you rolling on the floor laughing - perfect for brightening up your day and sharing with friends!

Clean Jokes

A handpicked collection of the best clean jokes and family-friendly humor. Laugh without cringing with my safe, inoffensive jokes for all audiences in clean...

Best Jokes

See all 38 Best Jokes

Simple Jokes

Laugh out loud with my collection of simple jokes - short, punny, and guaranteed to bring a smile. Perfect for lightening the mood!

Seriously Funny Jokes

Seriously funny jokes to make you laugh out loud - a hilarious collection of witty one-liners, rib-tickling comedy, and side-splitting jokes for endless...

Short Funny Jokes

Short funny jokes guaranteed to make you laugh! Enjoy my curated collection of the best one-liners, puns, and witty jokes for a good laugh.

Really Really Funny Jokes

Really really funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud - a hilarious collection of rib-tickling quips, witty puns, and side-splitting stories.

Really Funny Jokes

Really funny jokes that will have you laughing out loud! A hilarious collection of the best one-liners, puns, and witty jokes for a good belly laugh.

Random Jokes

Random jokes that'll have you rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably. Discover the funniest one-liners, puns, and rib-tickling jokes here!

Really Bad Jokes

Really bad jokes that will have you laughing uncontrollably - explore our hilarious collection of cringe humor and pun-derful giggles.

General Jokes

See all 51 General Jokes

Mr Ducks Joke

Quack up with the hilarious mr ducks joke! I've gathered the funniest waterfowl wisecracks that'll have you waddling with laughter. Dive into feathered fun...

Mustache Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out my collection of hilarious mustache jokes that'll have you grinning from ear to ear. Get ready for some hairy humor...

Penguin Joke

Dive into the icy world of hilarity with the best penguin jokes! I've collected the funniest flightless bird humor that'll have you waddling with laughter....

Penny Joke

Discover the funniest penny jokes that'll have you rolling on the floor laughing! I've compiled the best puns and one-liners about coins that are worth every...

Pickle Jokes

Looking for some dill-lightful humor? Check out my collection of the best pickle jokes that will have you in a pickle of laughter. Get ready to relish these...

Picture Jokes

Discover hilarious picture jokes that will have you laughing out loud! I've collected the funniest visual puns and memes to brighten your day. Get ready for...

More Joke Lists

See all 61 More Joke Lists

Toe Jokes

Discover hilarious toe jokes that'll have you laughing from head to toe! From corny puns to silly quips, these funny foot funnies are sure to tickle your...

Weird Jokes

Discover the quirkiest and most bizarre humor with my collection of weird jokes. Get ready for unconventional laughs and absurd comedy that'll leave you in...

Very Funny Jokes

Very funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Hilarious comedy, stand-up humor, witty punchlines, and side-splitting jokes for comedic entertainment.

The Best Jokes Ever

I've compiled the most hilarious, side-splitting jokes that will have you laughing until your belly hurts. Prepare for rib-tickling, laugh-out-loud moments...

Terrible Jokes That Are Funny

Laugh out loud with my collection of terrible jokes that are funny! Get ready for cringe-worthy puns, dad jokes, and anti-humor that'll leave you in stitches.

Tell Me A Joke

I've got tons of hilarious jokes to tickle your funny bone! Check out this collection of the best laughing jokes for 2025.

Unfunny Jokes

Laugh your socks off with my unfunny jokes . They’re so bad, they’re good. Take a dive into the world of anti-humor . It’s all about jokes that don’t follow...

Time Jokes

As the clock ticks away, I find myself laughing at time-related jokes every day. It’s like time itself has a funny side, and we’re all in on the joke. Time...