36 Animal Jokes for All Ages
A quick tour of the animal kingdom, one punchline at a time.
From elephants to owls, animals make great joke characters because everyone knows their quirks. These animal jokes are short, clean and perfect for kids.
Why did the bird go to school?
Because it wanted to become tweet-cher!
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse!
Why don’t giraffes use cell phones?
Because they struggle with reception!
What’s a frog’s favorite exercise?
Jumping jacks!
Why don’t alligators like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What did one squirrel say to the other?
I’m nuts about you!
What do you call a fish that wears a crown?
King Neptune!
Why did the bear bring a ladder to the party?
Because it wanted to be the bear-illiant highlight of the event!
What do you call a bear who loves to read?
A book grizzly!
Why did the bear go to the dentist?
To fix his bear-ly smile!
What did the bear say when it saw the picnic basket?
I can’t bear to be without it!
What do you call a bee having a bad hair day?
Frisbee!
Why did the bee bring sunscreen to the beach?
To avoid the sting of the sun!
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz!
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybee!
Why did the bee go to school?
To learn his buzz-iness!
Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling a little un-BEE-lievable!
Why did the bee go to the dance party?
Because he couldn’t resist the buzz!
What do you call a horse that does magic tricks?
A hobby horse!
Why did the horse go to the doctor?
Because he had a hay fever!
Why do horses wear horseshoes?
Their feet hurt!
What do you call a horse that can count its own hay?
A mathematician!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the other neigh-borhood!
What do you call a horse that can count its own legs?
A mathemaagtician!
What do you call a horse that can count its own money?
A quarter horse.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To get to the other side… and then turn around and do it again because it’s so much fun!
What do penguins order at a restaurant?
Ice-burgers and frosty fries, of course!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank, naturally!
Why don’t penguins fly?
Because they’d rather make a splash!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How do penguins make a party fun?
They bring the ice!
What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta?
Penguini!
What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
An investigator!
Why did the alligator bring a suitcase to the beach?
Because he wanted to turn into a sand croc!
What do you call an alligator with a compass?
A navigator!
Got a joke that belongs on this list? Send it to info@millionjokes.com. We review every submission and only publish jokes that are clean and family-friendly. Browse more in Animal Jokes.
