32 Short Dad Jokes That Land in One Line
Quick, clean one-liners for anyone who loves a pun that takes three seconds to tell and three minutes to groan about.
The best dad jokes are short. There is no long setup, no story to remember, just a question and a punchline that twists a word you saw coming a mile away. Keep a few of these ready for the dinner table.
Why did the old man fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
How many storm troopers change a lightbulb?
None, all on the dark side.
What word can you make shorter by adding two letters?
Short.
How many apples grow on an apple tree?
All of them.
What did the alien say to the landscaper?
Take me to your weeder.
What’s a dog’s favorite super hero?
Labra-Thor.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call a boastful mountain climber?
A braggernaut.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they’re scared of the net.
What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?
Live stream.
Why can’t pigs play soccer?
They hog the ball.
What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?
One takes a snap, one takes a nap.
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
Because they were watchdogs.
Why do football players wear glasses?
It’s a contact sport.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracabrador.
What did the shovel say to the sand?
I really dig you!
Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a monster with a high IQ?
Frank-Einstein.
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years?
The letter M.
What’s the best kind of bird to work for at a construction company?
A crane.
What do you call a factory that makes OK products?
A satisfactory.
What do you call a witch’s vehicle?
Broom broom!
What do you call a snake that loves building houses?
A boa constructor.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad.
Did you hear about the guy who failed his driving test?
He thought it was a crash course.
What do you call a wizard who’s good with ceramics?
Harry Pottery.
What bird is great at building things?
A crane.
What do you call a fish that’s good at basketball?
A net-fish!
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
What music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
Got a joke that belongs on this list? Send it to info@millionjokes.com. We review every submission and only publish jokes that are clean and family-friendly. Browse more in Dad Jokes.
