37 Funny Jokes to Brighten Anyone's Day
A big, clean roundup of crowd-pleasing jokes.
This is one of our largest roundups: a mix of puns, one-liners and question-and-answer jokes on every topic. Scroll through, pick your favorites and pass them on.
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What do you get if you cross a bunny with a clover?
A four-leaf hoptimist!
What’s the best way to catch an Easter bunny?
Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!
Why don’t you iron four-leaf clovers?
Because you shouldn’t press your luck!
What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
Lucky Charms, of course!
Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day?
Because they’re already wearing green!
Why did the ghost go to the party?
He heard they were having a graveyard smash!
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney while a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle!
Why did the leaf go to school?
To get its degree!
Why did the squirrel become an acorn addict?
He went nuts for them!
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, Google, Google!
What do you call a turkey that plays a musical instrument?
A jam turkey!
What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast?
Frosted flakes!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An eskimoos!
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Ruff!
Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
Why did the squirrel take up knitting?
Because it had too many nuts to crack!
What kind of cake does a raccoon like for its birthday?
Pineapple upside-down cake, because it’s a real treature!
Why did the couple take up gardening on their anniversary?
Because they wanted to sow the seeds of love!
What time do astronauts have dinner?
At launch time!
What did the American football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback!
Have you ever noticed that the word bed looks like a bed?
But that’s not the point. I’m still hiding the bodies. And the police can’t see anything!
Why did the musician get kicked out of the band?
He couldn’t C the notes!
What do you call a misplaced singer?
A pitch-finder!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tube of super glue!
Why did the linguist bring a ladder to the poetry reading?
Because they wanted to reach the accents!
Why did the grammarian go broke?
Because they couldn’t afford their silent letters!
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn’t control her pupils!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!
What did one dog say to the other dog?
Hey, howl you doing?
Why did the squirrel take up knitting?
It heard it was a great way to hide nuts!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go beep!
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
They don’t like steak!
What kind of concert costs 45 cents?
A fifty cent concert featuring Nickelback!
What do you say when you meet a talking cow?
How now, brown cow-moo!
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