26 Best Christmas Jokes to Wrap Up the Holidays
Santa, snowmen and reindeer puns for festive families.
Christmas jokes belong in crackers, cards and around the dinner table. These feature Santa, elves, reindeer and snowmen, and they are clean enough for the whole family.
Where does Santa sleep when he travels?
In a HO-HO-HO-tel!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!
What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
A puddle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
What do you get if you cross a detective with Santa Claus?
Santa Clues!
Why did Santa go to music school?
Because he wanted to improve his wrap.
What do you call Santa Claus when he takes a break?
Santa Pause!
Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
You get a PINEapple!
What do elves learn in elf school?
The ELF-abet.
What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
Nothing, reindeer can’t talk.
What do cows say at Christmas?
MOO-ey Christmas!
What do reindeer eat for breakfast?
Deer-ios.
What kind of car does an elf drive?
A toy-ota.
What do you call Santa when he forgets to bring presents?
Saint Nicholas!
Why did Santa’s sleigh stop at the bakery?
He wanted to get a roll on his merry way!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf-abet soup for Christmas dinner!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice cane walking by and thought I’d say hi!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
[First Name].
[First Name] who?
[First Name] wishes you a merry Christmas filled with laughter!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had low elf esteem.
How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free?
He uses Claus-tarch.
How does Santa keep his garden green?
With mistletoe-sterone.
Why was Santa’s helper depressed?
He had too many presents to wrap.
Got a joke that belongs on this list? Send it to info@millionjokes.com. We review every submission and only publish jokes that are clean and family-friendly. Browse more in Holiday & Seasonal Jokes.
