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True Loves


A woman writes to a magazine asking how she will know if he truly loves her.

"Well... Here's how I see it. When a man is "taken with you"- you will know. Sometimes the words, "I love you" aren't always enough. As women, we like to see words put into action... Here are some ways that you can tell if he means what he says..."

He pretends to like your cat by no longer drop-kicking Fluffy down a flight of stairs when you're not looking.

When you come over to visit, they start picking up -- they shove underwear under their beds, (theirs and other women's) they move the Playboy centerfold to a less frequented room and they hide dirty dishes in less conspicuous places.

They let you see the remote control. You as a woman will never actually get to use the remote, so consider a distant viewing of it a positive sign.

They rub your feet for 1-2 minutes before requesting a blowjob.

They take one of those Cosmo quiz things without complaining. Although they will resent you for it (please make a note of it)

They turn off the computer in order to spend more time with you. If they actually delete the porn mail- you can expect a proposal within weeks.

They use "we" when they used to use "I" ("We can't go out tonight. We're giving me a blowjob")

They stop making references to their ex-girlfriends ("I am in love with my ex-girlfriend", "I am stalking my ex-girlfriend" and "Gee- my ex-girlfriend sure gave me a great blowjob!"

They don't mind that their parents, pets and children like you better. Their friends will never like you better- they undoubtedly want to sleep with you, but they will never like you...