The phone rings at DEA headquarters.
"Hello, is this DEA?"
"Yes. What can we do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day, the DEA comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the DEA come?"
"Did they chop your firewood for you?"
"Yeah, they did."
"Okay, now it's YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed!"